


Amethyst

by dontmindme_imafangirl



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: (low-key a spoiler but felt necessary to add as a tag!), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crush at First Sight, Garrison days, Hunk & Lance (Voltron) Friendship, Keith and Shiro are Adoptive Siblings, Keith/Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron)-centric, Light Angst, M/M, Pansexual Lance (Voltron), Pre-Voltron: Legendary Defender, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, pre-paladins of voltron, will add more tags if necessary!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2019-01-08 07:57:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12250242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontmindme_imafangirl/pseuds/dontmindme_imafangirl
Summary: Lance isn’t sure just what it was, be it the whiff of smooth dark hair or the way he made his lips purse, lines by the sides of his mouth as if he’s been born with a permanent scowl, or maybe it’s his eyes, dark and endless and like the night sky Lance looks up to each night.He’s not sure, but something about the boy that lazily passed him in the hallway feels different.or; a feeling gnaws at the bottom of Lance's stomach from the very first moment he locks eyes with a certain boy named Keith; he's just not sure where this feeling will lead him to.[Pre-Voltron AU]





	1. Rose Quartz

********

Perception is what shapes your view to the world, they say, and he nods along, his vision rose-coloured with bright baby blues looking out to the world with wonder.

It’s how you view life that makes it what it is, they say, and Lance agrees enthusiastically, grin wide and laugh like river streams and summer rain when he speaks, a shaky confidence in his gait, a gentle smirk on his lips like a chew toy.

Life has been good to him, at least he thinks so; he’s got a loving family, a good head on his shoulders, friends he loves and friends that love him, and a career he loves and builds up on day by day.

He got his acceptance letter to the garrison just a few months ago, his dreams of space and starry skies close enough he insists he can taste the starlight on his tongue, his best friend Hunk with his golden heart and amber eyes right besides him, fulfilling his own dreams-life is good, he’s now certain.

His optimism wavers a few weeks into the school year-his teachers get stricter and his breaks grow shorter, the smiles Hunk gives him ooze polite sympathy, even his newest friend Pidge gives him an odd look and asks if he’s alright, causing the uncomfortable feeling in his stomach to reach up to his throat.

Yet Lance persists.

He starts smoking at some point, one friend too many offering him a way out, an easy path to relax even momentarily, and at some point he figures out just how long the human body can go without sleep before collapsing, but he’s still there, he still persists, refusing to let go of the rose gold world around him. 

The world turns to shades of blue and red when he first locks eyes with _him_.

Lance isn’t sure just what it was, be it the whiff of smooth dark hair or the way he made his lips purse, lines by the sides of his mouth as if he’s been born with a permanent scowl, or maybe it’s his eyes, dark and endless and like the night sky Lance looks up to each night.

He’s not sure, but something about the boy that lazily passed him in the hallway feels different.

He must’ve been staring, looking at the spot the boy passed long after he left, because Hunk nudges him back into this realm of existence, his heart like a whirlwind trying to catch a break and failing.

Hunk quirks an eyebrow, asks him what’s up with that certainty only childhood friends could have; and Lance has the bitter lie of ‘nothing’ on his lips before swallowing it back down, one tug of Hunk’s lips causing him to shrug his lie away.

“This boy just passed by us, dark hair, kind of like a mullet that shouldn't work but does, big pout on his face?”

Hunk nodded casually.

“Yeah, that’s Keith,” he said, “Keith Kogane I think? I don't know him well but apparently he’s the school’s cool-and-mysterious type. Top of his class, ditches almost everything he’s allowed to ditch, and get this-“

Lance rolls his eyes, already knowing where this is going.

“-So, there’s rumours he actually knows Takashi Shirogane. In _person_ ” Hunk emphasises, leaning close to Lance’s ear to spread the gossip.

“You mean Shiro?” Lance gasps, disbelief evident in his face.

Hunk nodded, suddenly cowering at the squint of disbelief Lance gave him.

“What?!” he shrugged, “I can’t resist a good gossip if I hear it!” 

Lance knew that much, giving little mind to Hunk’s last comment-though he’s silent as a grave when it comes to secrets, Hunk’s bubbly personality makes rumours and conspiracy theories the most irresistible things to him.

No, what he does keep in mind is that very first word, a name already etched into Lance’s brain, connected via red string to a gorgeous broody face and eyes like distant galaxies.

_Keith Kogane_ he tests it out in his mind, the name already sounding familiar in his head.

_Keith Kogane_ he tastes. 

Lance has a feeling this name will become his rose red habit.

********

 

From that moment onwards, Lance’s mind felt like it was caught in a whirlwind, visions of hair like silken dreams and rough hands that’d feel oh-so-smooth interlaced with his.

It hurt, hurt in the sweetest way, how his brain conjured up these daydreams for a person he only knew the name of; that and whatever the latest gossip surrounding him was.

“Keith Kogane is actually Takashi Shirogane’s long lost brother!”

“I heard NASA asked him to come pilot their latest secret spacecrafts for them!”

“Did you know Keith had actually gotten into a fist fight with that one student?”

Lance ignored the vision of the bad boy, the one whose aura oozed bitterness, in favour of his very own version of Keith Kogane; the one who’s soft under all the thick layers, the one who laughs with wide toothy grins when he thinks no one’s looking.

It took months of stolen glances and soft sighs before Lance ever got to hear the sound of the laughter he’d dreamt of for so long.

It was an evening long after classes for the day were done; he was just returning to his dorm from the library when he heard it.

Gentle at first, a soft huff that turned into the sweetest giggle he’d ever heard, like summer winds and rain on rooftops, and whichever other poetic analogy he could conjure at the moment.

With a peek across the hall, he noticed the sound coming from none other than Keith, lips splitting to a small laugh, eyes shut and crinkling.

It was enough to make Lance’s heart melt.

A look to the right brought him face to face with the reason of that laughter, with the person who put that smile on Keith’s face-Takashi Shirogane.

The man they called ‘dream on legs’, the hero of the faculty with the gentleness of a kindred soul and the appearance of a greek god, and the reason for the sound Lance begged to hear for so long; how could he compete with that?

How could he ever be competent enough to compare himself to that?

Lance left with his shoulders stooped low.

 

*****

He’d dreamt of purple skins that night, and soft smiles and loud laughs, his hand in Keith’s, only to walk alongside him and turn to face a mirror, catching whiff of their reflections-this wasn’t him he was looking across to. It was a blurred image, a man he didn’t recognise, standing hand-in hand with Keith.

This was the first time he felt like the rose-tinted glasses were snatched off of his face, leaving behind streaks of blue and tears of crystal.

It hurt, he realised, to have your hear broken by a person who doesn’t even know your name.

It hurts.

 

******


	2. New hues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New ends, new beginnings.  
> Its time to set a colour to their journey.

*****

He tried to find a replacement.

Tried to tell himself to get over it, to stop letting the pain play with his head, to stop letting Hunk look at him with such sympathy, for Pidge to nudge him playfully then furrow their brows when they thought he wasn’t looking.

He didn’t want to make them worry. He didn't want to pick up the phone and let his mama hear the ashen grey knot in his throat, lie through his teeth and tell her he’s alright and his classes were going perfectly well; he’d never received such cold stares from his professors before, not until his first simulation test that denoted him down to a cargo pilot.

He couldn’t carry on trying to colour the world around him to his liking, the paint he tried to put up melted within seconds, leaving him with a greying vision that slowly turned smoky, the bitter taste of coal in his mouth setting heavily.

Lance tried to find something, _anything_ to take the hurt away. He practiced, he studied, he went out with friends and sneaked late night runs to the city in hopes of turning his vision back to blues and pinks, but to no avail; it seemed the gray was here to stay, settled so deep inside him it raised darkened roots in his insides.

Then there was Keith.  
Keith and his fucking laughter that haunted Lance’s sleep.

The bitter feeling he felt ever since turned into tar with each person gripping Keith’s shoulder, with each time someone leaned close to him as he talked, Lance never missing the redness of the person’s ears.

There had to be a name to this feeling. It boiled and simmered in the pits of his chest, threatening to spill with each clench of Lance’s teeth. He wanted, _needed_ a name for it, something to finally address it.

He ignored the shouts of ‘love!’ and ‘jealousy?’ his mind conjured.

He settled instead on the words ‘hate’ and ‘rivarly’ that his heart screamed against of.

Yes, he thought, hate it is. That perhaps would be more tolerable than the sickened thoughts of love and first crushes.

The pink roses curling around his chest started to wither with each glare he sent Keith’s way, their thorns prickling at the thudding muscle every time another rumour about the boy with the permanent pout popped up, until they left behind a sickening green hue, streaking Lance’s very soul with putrid greens and reminisces of what was once there.

“This is envy. This is because he thinks he’s better” he’d tell himself, barely believing half of what his mind conjured.

Yet it’s this very feeling, the one that’s left when all of Lance’s colours have been stripped away, the gaze Lance initially yearned for to lock with his finally meeting his.

With every huff and scowl Lance would offer, he’d get a glance back from Keith in return, the fantasy of dark eyes glinting and thick eyebrows furrowing his way.

He’d catch Keith’s look from across the training deck, promptly returning it with a full blown smirk and roll of his eyes, as if to say “I don’t care about you. I wasn’t specifically looking for your gaze”.

There’s colours threatening to come back to life with every shared look and every hint of curiosity from Keith’s way, the feelings he refused to name insisting on reserving with an unreckoned force.

Lance isn’t sure how long he can go on before those feelings engulf him whole.

 

*****

It’s been weeks, maybe months; Lance isn’t certain.

Exam season came and left, it’s fast pace leaving every single student in a frenzy, leaving Pidge to fall asleep over their books more than once, leaving Hunk to organise and reorganise the pens by the side of his exam paper time after time until he felt ready to flip the pages and start writing.

It left Lance with a sense of dread for every result that came out; always good, but never good _enough_ ; always one of the first but never _the first_.

He tried to be bitter about it. He tried to yell and cry and get angry; at the world, at himself, at everyone else, he wasn’t certain.

He wanted that red fury to engulf him whole and yet it didn’t, his heart too tired and his mind too sleep-deprived to conjure up much more than a general apathy.

His rivalry with Keith was still well and alive; the two would exchange glares when walking down the corridor, Keith’s lips going as far as to form a small snarl, Lance’s following with a small ‘tch’ and a roll of eyes. 

Both of them didn’t know how it started it seemed like this feeling was here to stay, for as long as the two had to live in the same vicinity of each other.

Lance thought this is the way things would be from now on. He never expected for anything to _change_ ; not anymore.

He certainly didn’t expect _this_.

They were at a school event, the Garrison doing a sorts of congratulatory event for the graduating students and to award the top students with whatever it is the top students got-he sure as hell wasn’t going to, say, walk up to _Keith_ and ask or anything-it already sucked enough that he had to sit there and watch the scowling boy get awarded, when Lance was so, so near mark-wise to that award himself.

The moment they were allowed to leave, Lance made haste to the narrow staircase that led towards the roof, a small passageway that Pidge discovered and shared with him and Hunk only; he had a box of menthols in his pockets and a cloudy haze in his mind that only some star-gazing and lawbreaking could clear.

What he didn’t expect, however, was the feel of a hand encircling his wrist, tugging him back before he could take a step towards the stairway and bringing his back to the wall with a thud that made him wince, but not enough to hurt, merely catch him offguard.

Lance kept his eyes shut for a moment, willing his breathing to a calm-it was the loud voice that followed that made his eyes snap open, mouth agape at the person staring right back at him.

“What is your _problem_?!” the voice snarled, low and-Lance could be wrong, but he could hear a distinct _hurt_ in the words, underneath the rage and fury that painted them a neon red.

It’s Keith, he realises.

In all his time at the Garisson, this is the first time he heard his voice.  
It’s the first time he noticed there’s a touch of purple in his eyes, one that caused them to swirl like colliding stars.

Yet the beautiful colour is hazed with what Lance can only describe as _disdain_ , the daydreams he’d had of that very gaze looking towards him with a gentle fondnesss shattering instantenously, causing his own baby blues to redden with a threat of tears.

Through his haze, he realised Keith’s lips were moving; Keith had been talking to him all this time, his voice low and quiet despite the emptiness of the hallway, the words lost before they made it to Lance’s ears; he was so deep in thought he never noticed the boy speaking.

There’s too many colours swirling inside Lance, begging and threatening and screaming and it’s all too much, Keith’s breath feels too close, his eyes too bright, his body too near and it’s all _too much_ and Lance can’t, there’s no filter to cover his mouth, no needle to sew his lips together, to stop the words from flowing out with a shaky yell;

“I just! I freaking like you and you don’t-you didn’t even know who I _was_ and now you hate me and you think I hate you and I _thought_ I did and-“

He realised what he said a moment too late, his heart threatening to leap straight out of his chest and make its way out of his throat.

With a gasp, he pushed Keith away, making a run for the stairs leading up to the rooftop, not sparing a glance to the boy he left behind.

The haze in his mind became a full blown snow storm, and the only thought he could conjure was just that.

Just the view of purple skies in a pair of eyes he’d wished to never stop looking towards.

*****

It must’ve been a few hours, if the position of the moon was not playing tricks on him.

He ripped little shreds of paper from his cigarette box, the packet long empty and his throat too sore to speak, the gentle breeze turning colder and pricking at his skin beneath the scratchy garisson uniform.

It was quiet; it was always quiet up here, the rooftop strictly off limits for students and staff alike, yet never monitored by any security guards, making it far too easy for Lance to slip through.

It was his own glimpse of peace, he figured; a building tall enough and a rooftop wide enough to feel as if the stars are just within an arms reach, the only light illuminating him being the kiss of moonlight on his nose.

He’d just settled his back at the back of the wall, when he heard the quiet footsteps stopping right in front of the door beside him, opening it with a sudden thud before Lance could react.

He stole a glimpse at the boy standing there, head cowered and stance shaky, as if just existing there in that very moment, was something that took tremendous courage.

“What do you want?” Lance found himself asking, voice too hoarse and unable to hind the emotion twisting in his gut.

There was a short silence, before he heard Keith take a deep inhale, not moving an inch from his initial position.

“I uh…I don’t hate you.”

That made Lance turn, looking towards Keith with a raised eyebrow, Keith’s head still low and gaze avoiding Lance’s.

“I don’t hate you”, Keith continued, “though I guess I can see where you got that idea from.”

Keith shuffled his feet, bringing his fingers to curl over the hem of his grainy coat.

“I’ve never…I’m not good with” he waved his hand ambiguously, “with emotions. And expressing them. I guess I’m not used to it. I try and say something and it comes out wrong, so I got used to not saying anything at all” Keith continued, voice as low as before yet different; more soothing, more…more gentle.  
“Because of that I guess there were rumours going around, how I’m, I don’t know, dark and broody? Or whatever, and people just, wouldn’t approach me much” he shrugged, the hurt evident in his tone.

“So I was used to people avoiding me or getting scared and whatnot, so when I saw someone staring so intently…I was curious”.

Keith turned to Lance at that, holding his gaze momentarily before looking back again, focusing onto the stars instead.

Now with his chin tilted up, Lance could see so much more, Keith’s face illuminated with starlight; he could see the opening and closing of his mouth as he tried to string words together and failing, uncertain of how to express whatever it is that cowered inside his heart. He could see the worry in his eyes, the scrunching of his nose and the tussle of his hair.

He could see Keith.

“You spoke to me once, um, I was looking for the classroom and you smiled and told me I’d be late if I stood around much longer and let me follow you to it. It was a small thing but you felt so…sincere” Keith conjured, “that I eventually started noticing you more.”

Lance felt his heart thudding in his chest; of course he remembered that incident, he kept his hands in his pockets in fear of them shaking with excitement.

“Eventually I kept looking for you more and more and found you looking back so often and felt this.. _something_ ”, he shrugged, “I talked to Shiro about it and he said I had a crush. So um, yeah”

Lance was asleep. Or daydreaming. Or both.

“So I wanted to try and ask you what you feel, but then you left so hastily after that ceremony thing, and I had to run to catch up to you and I thought I freaked you out and then you said you thought I hated you-which I don’t but I don’t-I looked back on how I acted and I guess you could’ve thought that, and uh, I guess you might hate me, and you’re probably not even into-“

“I am into-“ Lance started, turning his body towards Keith and finally meeting his gaze, finally noticing it for what it is-“I’m uh, I’m pan so” he shrugged, feeling the hear run towards his face.

Keith faltered, his own gaze locked to Lance’s, bringing a hand up to rub at his face.  
“O-oh. Nice. Yeah.”

Lance took a shaky breath, scooting over to make space for Keith and patting the empty space beside him.

Keith looked on with confusion, tilting his head to the side.

“Do you..want to sit? So we can talk a bit less awkwardly?” Lance explained, slow and patient. 

Keith nodded, hastily coming to flop down next to Lance with a soft ‘pat’, his entire demeanour so much different than what Lance had pictured.

“I uh, I saw you during our first year and kind of had a big crush on you” Lance started after a moment of silence, feeling the tension of Keith’s shoulders as he sat beside him.

“I kind of day-dreamed about you a lot and got so jealous of any person near you-dumb, I know, and then I don’t know, I was…kind of jealous you know?” Lance shrugged. 

Keith stared at him, an eyebrow raised before Lance spoke up again, suddenly regretful for all the cigarettes he smoked.

“I was jealous of the people near you…and then jealous _of_ you.”

“Of…me? Why?” 

There was a genuine worry in Keith’s features, one that was so sincere and showed just how little Lance really knew about Keith.

He was no bad boy, no mysterious boy-wonder, nor the product of Lance’s daydreams. He was just Keith. Just Keith.

“I think I was surprising my crush and thinking I hate you instead. Because you’re pretty much top of the top and my major competition in becoming a fighter class, so…” Lance said, worrying his bottom lip.

“But you’re really good too?” Keith said, the words carrying that same rose gold Lance had given up on, the praise he wanted to be able to give himself.  
“You work really hard, I’ve seen you during training.”

“Yeah, apparently my piloting skills are ‘the worst of the bunch’ according to Iverson though” Lance laughed bitterly, not noticing the gnawing of Keith’s gaze in the moonlight.

“Well screw Iverson!” he yelled, bringing a hand to cover his mouth at the sound, “…screw Iverson. Piloting just takes practice”, he whispered, earning a soft smile on Lance’s lips.

They both felt there was more to this conversation, but decided to leave it aside, hopefully for another time.

“Anyway, yeah, I had this..this picture of you in my head. And I guess I never took the time to notice the real you. The.. _you_ you” Lance struggled, relishing in the small smile Keith gave in response.

“I had that too. An uh, image of you. I thought you’d be much more of a…soap opera protagonist?” he shrugged, and Lance couldn’t help but laugh at that, loud and enough to bring soft tears to his eyes, before Keith laughed along, softer and quieter but still becoming the most beautiful sound to Lance’s ears.

This was them. Two boys sneaking out in the middle of the night to sit on a rooftop they’re not allowed to be on, and laughing a little too loud and a little too much.

No barriers, no expectations, nothing.  
Just Lance and Keith, unedited.

They both relished in the silence for a while after, not realising when they ended up sitting close enough to have their shoulders touch, looking out to the constellations forming on clear skies, the early risings of pink hues slowly tinting the skies.

“You know what?” Lance started.

Keith hummed.

“We need a do-over.”

“A do-over?” Keith echoed, turning to look at Lance, face half-hidden with his chin tucked over his knees.

“Mmhm, a do-over. We got off on the wrong foot, both of us”.

Lance stood up, urging Keith to do the same, looking to Lance in bemusement all the while.

The sky was fully tinted pink now, the backdrop casting soft shadows over them both, almost coloured golden in a sense.

Lance extended a hand to Keith.

“Hey there cute stranger. I’m Lance Sanchez, a second-year Garrison student.”

Keith made a soft ‘oh’ sound, before bringing a hand to clasp Lance’s in a handshake.

“Hello Lance. I’m Keith Kogane. I think your smile’s…really cute.”

Lance snorted, feeling the shake of Keith’s laughter through their clapped hands as he did.

This was it.

This would be their own beginning, coloured in their own hues.

*****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woo, it is DONE!  
> Sorry for taking a while ^^' this started out as a vent piece, and to be quite honest, it initially wasn't even fandom related, hence why I feel Amethyst is kind of more..personal to me. After taking a step back from the situation that made me write it and feeling better and moving on, I decided it'd be nice to incorporate it into a Klance fan fiction, because I feel Lance would very likely harbour feelings like this.
> 
> I initially thought of ending this on a bitter/sad note, but,,,couldn't bring myself to do so, hahah. I did however, think that ending it with the two being in a relationship, would feel wrong and even somewhat hollow. So, for a clarification to the ending, the two are not dating-they do however have the potential to ^^
> 
> idk I really like pre-voltron fics, sorry if this caused any confusion! I have to be honest and say I diidn't really proof-read this, so if there's any context/grammar mistakes, please do let me know & sorry!
> 
> I really really hope you like this, and if you do, please know that kudos/comments are very much appreciated :D 
> 
> (P.S: At anyone that's curious about We Used to Have it All; I will be continuing it soon! hope you look forward to it <3)
> 
> also if you want to talk about season 4, send me a prompt, or just talk to a fellow Voltron fan, shoot me a message on my Tumblr: dontmindme-imafangirl.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> ngl it took kind of a lot to post this ;; it started out as a vent piece and turned into a 3-4 chapters fic gahhhh  
> plus it's kind of written in a haste sorry for the quality, might end up deleting it at a later point ;-; 
> 
> either way, hope you like it even a tiny bit! if you want to talk, shoot me a message on Tumblr: dontmindme-imafangirl.tumblr.com 
> 
> (if I don't delete it then new chapters will be coming in 2-3 days xx)
> 
>  
> 
> P.S: the title is temporary but if you have any suggestions do shoot me some in the comments or on Tumblr <3


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